To China!

  • No breakfast :(
  • Pretty good airport brunch at Pronto at airport
  • Chill flight, with lunch included!
  • Australian Football club at customs
  • Nice dinner in Guangzhou at the local Mariott
  • Lu’s baby sister is super cute

Lu’s Clues

God you’re such a butt hole, mewhemwehwemweh, nenenene

Look at me, I’m in, I’m in my, lounge chair, and I’m relaxing, and it’s like being at a psychiatrists office, like taking notes. Wait don’t type this stuff. Waiiit, no I’m not ready. Oh my gosh, fine, okay, so.

What I wanted you to type is,

IT’S TIME FOR LU’s CLUES!!!! PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEWWWW PEWWWWWW

Plus, it’s not like…

No it’s not like you can type fast enough to keep up with me anyway.

Anyway, so, um, I think, for Lu’s Clues I gotta go back to Kanazawa. Yea I’m just gonna stream of consciouscness Kanazawa. Okay

Cafe Snow Wind Hale Freezingly cold old Japan. Gorgeous tiny buildings for tiny people. Beds most comfortable. Anyway, I really like Kanazawa because it was my first time seeing so many different things about Japans history, including the samurai district and the geisha tea district. And actually I was worried initially before going that we’d be breaking all kinds of etiquette there, turns out though it was just touristy enough but not too touristy

I took lots of pictures, so that’s probably the best way to remember Kanazawa. Honestly, no complaints, so kind of a boring chapter of Lu’s Clues.

Next up… Osaka!!!! >)

Oh it’s time for me to learn French today. Okay after this I’m gonna learn french.

Osaka was fucking cray. Well at least for me. IT was kind of dirty, no, not just kind of, quite dirty, like China dirty [editors note: not China dirty]. It was also very touristy, there were a lot of tourists from a lot of different parts of the world, but mainly China. It made for a different face of Japan from before, a stoic face to deal with Chinese people. I think I was holding my breath for a solid 24 hours, but finally got a breath of fresh air when we took a runaround of Osaka Castle. This was a really beautiful experience, especially with Sakura trees fucking everywhere. I really wanted to grill some meat on one of the meat grilling tables, but alas, not Japanese enough. Never the less, having a couple beers with Greg while sitting on a weird makeshift towel that was wet from when he dried himself off that morning was a damn good time.

Ummm, walking through Osaka’s main shopping areas was extremely overwhelming, but finding Orange street, a much quieter boutique-lined street, was a godsend. I got to buy a cute dress that I’m definitely going to wear in France…well sorry no Greg bought it, and then we had some really good Korean food, LOL. Too bad we never had Okonomiyaki, literally one of the foods that Osaka is most famous for. That’s okay though, it kind of looks like throw up.

CHINAAAAAAAAA. Oh my god. Oh my giddily god. It’s nice to see my family. It hurts to see your dad grow old, on the inside – I mean it hurts on the inside. But Keana is really cute. I mean yes, she is a demon spawned from hell, but it’s not mutually exclusive. You can be cute and also a demon. Mei-Mei is surprisingly old and mature. Oh yea, did I mention it’s really hot here, like super fucking hot. Like sweat dripping down my balls hot, and I don’t even have balls [editors note: yes she does]. Greg has balls though, and they’re probably fucking sweaty [editors note: yes they are]. Ewww.

Ok we can stop it here. Ok stop typing now please. Oh god. I’m gonna go pee. Oh my god. CLip clop clip clop stomp stomp toilet lid pee sounds